Friday, April 10, 2009

Prelude to ISB

Over the last few months, I have consciously avoided ISB/MBA related posts since I wanted to properly capture my feelings and experiences pre-ISB.

In a few hours, my life will be consumed entirely by ISB and the MBA course. If time permits, I'd like to document my experience throughout. To make up for lost time, here's a rundown of the MBA related standstills over the recent past.

I completed the Loan formalities while I was in US. Better put, my parents did so, all I did was sign and scan the papers to them. The general consensus of this batch is that Andhra Bank has the most convenient procedure and the best service. The other banks with which ISB had a tie up were SBI, HDFC Bank and UBI with UBI generally thought to cause the most hassles. The only queer requirement of Andhra was that the guarantor should come to Hyderabad to sign the papers. But otherwise, they didnt even require any collateral, any original papers, etc for a loan of over 15 lakhs!

Next, ISB's online pre-term assessment tests, which recommend whether to take the pre-terms or not (available to admits), indicated that I may concentrate on Hyderabadi Biryani and Haleem during the inital two weeks and I grudgingly acquiesced.

After returning to the City of Joy (about 2 weeks ago), I felt so joyously lazy that I completed the medical reports and some other formalities today itself, after nearly being thrown out of the house to do so by my parents.

Finally, ISB (rather a c/o 2009 student) launched a fantastic initiative called GoCar which matches 2 incoming students reaching Hyderabad at the same time and/or in the same mode and allowed them to share a pre-booked cab. In addition to the convenience and reduced transportation cost, it allows us to network with our batchmates as well. Thumbs up to the initiative. Bottomline, I'd be reaching Hyd in a Toyota Innova chatting with a fellow classmate at half the normal cost.

On Saturday we have a host of registration formalities to complete, after which we'd be allotted our homes or quads for the next one year.

I know I will have an amazing experience and look forward to it with bated breath.

Till then, over and out.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The call

Yes…hello…who’s this? Hello hello…

Katrina Kaif! U what? U wanna go out on a date with me?
Only if I SMS at this number…at Rs 10 a minute! Hmm but u see I’m in the middle of a meeting! Well hello hello…

Could you believe it! It was a call from Katrina Kaif! Wonder how she got my number!
It's been just a week since I returned from US yet I have been getting calls from Rahul Dravid, Kareena Kapur, Aishwariya and now Katrina. I wonder why?? Maybe I have suddenly become rich and famous! Well not rich…but famous ? No not even that…then?
Though I am not rich, many Indians are. Recession or no recession, India is one of the fastest growing economies of the world. Suddenly the great Indian middle class: you and me are in great demand. Because we, as consumers have great power in our hands: and pockets and purses. The octopus of advertising industry has spread it’s tentacles across various channels: television, mobile, internet or radio. Some ads are truly fascinating and compelling

Picture this: A young boy is having lunch in a small hut, with the door open. Suddenly a football bounces off the floor and strikes him. He looks around, and finds another boy of his age standing afar. He comes out of his house. The area is desolate, deserted. The other boy is standing at the other side of a ubiquitous double fence with a no-man’s land in between. The other boy coaxes him to kick the ball. This boy looks around shyly. There’s noone anywhere. With all his strength he kicks the ball to the other side of the fence. The 2 boys smile at each other. They want to play together…and they both join each other in the no man’s land. And start playing. Then the tagline follows: There would be no boundaries in this world, if we could only talk to each other! Wao! What an ad for a Cellular Service Provider.

With such creative ads these companies compel us to buy their products. You know, sometimes I feel like a young princess! Yeah you heard it right: a young naïve princess being courted by the Prince Charmings of this world. Or like Miss Little Red Riding Hood. Riding out into the world without any apprehensions?
But is the sweet old lady at the doorstep really the Grandmother or the evil wolf who is just waiting for a chance to eat you up?
We have to be very careful what to believe.
All that glitters is not gold.
The tomb gilded in gold may just be worm infested inside.

In fact some critics say that Advertising is the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Fact: Research has shown that some of the worst quality products spend most money on advertising.
Fact: The Advertising Standards Agency (ASA) in USA reports that in 2008, more than the number complaints about environmental claims grew more than four times compared to last year.
Fact: Suzuki, Shell, Toyota and many other renowned companies have been fined for misleading consumers on their environmental practices.
So how do we find our way in this big bad world of advertising and separate the wheat from the chaff? Let me tell you some ways in which you can counter the terror of the advertisers. Step 1, research the product before you buy something. Your best sources are your friends and colleagues. Find out whether any of them have used the product before and what they recommend.
2. Read blogs in the internet.
3. Find out the relative prices offered by different shops stocking the same product.
So research, talk to others and be “informed” before making a decision.
Don’t go by appearance alone.

And the next time you receive a phone call from Katrina Kaif, take a deep breath.
Relax. Enjoy your day in the sun. Look around. If your boss looks at you with questioning eyes, just say casually, Oh that? That was Katrina Kaif. She was calling about our date. An SMS for a date with Katrina: Rs 10. The look on your boss’s face: priceless!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I dream of Genie

Here goes my 10th and final speech in Toastmasters Competent Communicator manual.
More details in my next post.


==================================================================================
The other day, I was watching a re-run of "I dream of Jeannie". It's a fantasy sitcom from the 1960s about an astronaut finding a beautiful genie in a bottle in Florida's own Cocoa beach. In one scene, Jeannie complained to her friend that people are so unpleasant nowadays. The friend replied that others don't have a Genie working for them! Well surely we'd all be more pleasant if we had a Genie

Ah to have a genie! The pleasures of the world at your fingertips. I was reading somewhere that it's no coincidence that kids are a big fan of fantasies and as we grow old, we become more rooted to reality. We stop wishing for powers as we gain independence ourselves. Our real powers of intellect and authority slowly replace our craving for extraordinary power. But ever so often in our daily lives, we face roadblocks and we face opposition. And in those times we wish to have genie or a Deus-ex-Machina solve all our problems

In old times in Greek plays, when there used to be an impasse, the protagonists just couldn't find a way out - a Greek god used to be lowered down from above the stage by a machine from above the stage - and solve all the problems for the characters. This was called Deus-exmachina. Well, life ain't a Greek play. And I haven't heard too many genies being found nowadays. But I will tell you today that we do have a Deus ex Machina - a Genie- and that genie is our own dream. Someone once said that to achieve an impossible dream, try going to sleep. I'm not talking about a sleep induced dream. Im talking about the dreams we dream while awake.

Before coming to US, I heard a lot of the American dream. After coming to US, I heard a lot about the American dream. God Americans dream a lot! Jokes apart, what is an American dream anyway? Isn't it just the belief that with hard work and dedication, our dreams can come true? I'm sure, the American dream is no so different from the dream say an Indian has. The Indian speaking before you today had a little dream when he was a kid. To take my parents on a foreign trip. Finally that dream came true last week when my parents joined me here in Tampa. Fulfilling the dream does taste sweet. Especially sweetened by the taste of mom's home-made cookies.

Now having a dream is one thing and fulfilling it is another. I think a very good way of turning our dreams to reality is to believe, to believe in ourselves and in our success.
That belief can come in two ways.

1. Watching others succeed and
2. Visualizing success.

First, watching others succeed: To give an example. As we know, Mount Everest is the tallest peak in the world. However, climbing 29000 feet of the dangerous mountain is no mean feat. Climbing it without any supplemental oxygen is nigh impossible. But on May 8, 1978, two mountaineers, Reinhold Messner and Peter Habeler, achieved the impossible. From 1953, when Everest was captured the first time, to 1978 no man climbed Everest without carrying a bottle of oxygen. Yet withing next 18 years, more than 60 men and women had reached the top relying on their own gasping lungs. So what changed? The belief that it could be done.

So we come to the second point: Visualization. I always dreamt of being able to speak confidently in front of the public. But when I was a kid, whenever my teacher asked me a question in class, I used to hear a background music - dab-dab, dab-dab, .... That was the sound of my heart beat! So I joined up for toastmasters. Before my ice breaker, I started hearing the background music again. But then something amazing happened. I visualized myself walking to the podium with a confident gait, not forgetting any lines and getting a warm round of applause when I walk back to my seat. And voila - it went exactly as I had visualized. Thereafter, I have always tried to visualize any difficult situations I face - say a negotiation with a broker, an interview, a sports match, etc. I visualized it going well and that always soothes my nerves and things fall into place after that.

To give another example, AP Gianini wss a fruit seller when he founded the Bank of Italy in 1908. But he visualized that he would one day turn it into the biggest bank in America. The fruit seller's dream was eventually fulfilled when is bank became not just the biggest bank in USA but the bigggest bank in the world. You would identify it with its newer name -Bank of America.

Watching others succeed make us believe that it can be done. Similarly visualization makes us believe that it can be done. So either we, if we believe, our dreams can come true. I believe that if we have confidence in our abilities, we have that genie that can make our dreams come true.
As Olivia Newton John sang, I will ask you:
Dare to dream
Dare to fly
Dare to be the ever chosen one to touch the sky

So no matter what people say, dream on - and don't forget to make my dream of hearing a great applause come true when I return to my seat now.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Valentine's weekend gateway

It was 3 AM. It was pitch dark. And it was breathtakingly beautiful.It had been a long day. We spend about 17 hours on the road. Two of my friends had come over from California the previous day, on Valentine's day. I took Monday off and we roamed the seas, forests and land of Florida for 3 days.

On the first day, we went to Daytona Beach, on the shores of the Northern Atlantic. Daytona Beach is very different from the umpteen beaches around Tampa I had visited previously. It was huge in length and breadth. I could not see any end either side. We could also drive the car on the beach itself.


As sunset approached, I got ready to soak in the breathtaking paraphernalia of colours that normally accompanies the setting sun. But surprise, surprise, there wasn't any sun over the sea! It so happens that Daytona Beach is on the east coast. So the sun was actually setting on the opposite side to the sea! But we did have a backup plan to catch the master painter at work.

The tallest lighthouse in Florida and the 2nd tallest in the nation, Ponce Inlet, was about 6 miles from there. We stepped on the gas, reached the lighthouse and climbed 203 steps just in time to watch an iridescent sunset.



Ponce (meaning mosquito) Inlet has been exquisitely maintained and is still functional. The original caretaker's house has also been restored and turned into a museum. Driving 150 miles back to Tampa, we reached home at around 11PM.

The next day was the most eventful. After eating brunch at about 11AM, we started for Miami. It was not a typical Florida weather. Cloudy, humid and morose. The beauty of Sunshine Skyway was dampened by the dank clouds. I checked the weather forecast: Thunderstorms expected at night. Now that would be fun to drive through. Anyway, after driving through the interstate highways I275 and I75 for about 4 hours, we reached the Everglades National Park. The only other forest/park I went to in Florida earlier was Weedon Island which is nothing but a large swamp. But everglades is actually a slow moving river (about quarter miles a day) and a huge forest. It is also teeming with wildlife.




There are various entrances to the park: Flamengo Visitor Center, Shark Valley Visitor Center and Gulf Coast Visitor Center. The Shark Valley center is closer to Miami (about 40 miles) so we took this one. Each visitor center also specializes in different guided tours. For instance, the Gulf Coast Center has a 2 hour boat tour and the Shark Valley center a 2 hour tram tour.
Since it was getting pretty late and we only had one choice, we asked the local people for their choice of any one. While the predominant opinion was that it's like comparing apples and oranges (kinda like IIM and ISB :P ) but one fellow tourist suggested we take the Tram ride as it takes us to the heart of the everglades and we can see a huge variety of birds and beasts.

As always, there was a catch. It was already 3 PM and the last tram ride leaves at 4. The shark valley center was still 20 miles away but we had to reach the center well in advance to reserve a seat and park as the tram ride is very popular. So I took the wheels and in a ride that would put James Bond to shame (and gave my friends a heart attack) made up the 20 miles in 15 minutes. Once we reached the Park, we were blown away by the flora and fauna. There were just so many birds and alligators all around. Check out this video of Mr Alligator taking a stroll across the street.

I was very surprised to see that the alligators openly roam around the park in such close proximity to people in general, and small children in particular. I wondered whether there had been any untoward incidents before. I got the answer during the tram ride when the guide (a sharp witted sweet old lady) explained that the alligators do not associate the humans with food. That's because the alligators are not fed by humans. The sign: Do not feed wildlife, suddenly made a lot of sense. Since human beings are larger in stature than alligators, humans also intimidate the alligators. So till date, there has never been any alligator attacks in the Everglades! Well there was a small incident wherein a brazilian boy actually fell over an alligator (while riding his bike) and the animal (not the Brazilian) took a nice bite at the offender but punches from the boy's mother cut the animal's snack short and the boy escaped with a few broken ribs! During the tram ride it started to rain, which eventually gave way to a beautiful rainbow.

After spending about 3 hours in the Park, we finally left for Miami. Miami has a North and a South Beach. We passed through the city, admiring the nigh skyline, and headed to the South Beach. We parked our car on the Ocean Drive right next to the sea. The beach was awesome and the city was alive even at night. The beach was lit up by the light emanating from nearby hotels (a lot of 'em) and clubs. We sampled the Miami night life and had dinner at an Italian restaurant called Casablanca. Choosing the restaurant was also an experience as each of the hotels had people standing outside with the menu stuck to their chest and were throwing freebies such as free wine (which we succumbed to eventually) and 15% off on dishes and so on. There was even an Indian restaurant among others. Our waitress at Casablanca was as beautiful as any Hollywood actress. I thought of saying "Here's looking at you kid" but then remembered the ending of Casablanca.

The beach was so gorgeous P and T wanted to stay over at Miami for the night and experience it in the morning. The sky high hotel charges put an end to our high hopes and we configured the GPS for our route back home. We intentionally timed our journey so that we could avoid the thunderstorms at Tampa but we couldn't escape the fog.

So here I was, driving at 90 miles/hour, in pitch dark fog at 3Am in the night with my friends and I singing old Hindi and Bengali songs. And I loved it. It was a thrilling ride back home. Eventually we reached home at about 4:30AM to bring an awesome day to an end.

The next day, we headed to an all familiar destination (for me anyway): Clearwater Beach. The beach derives its name from the transparent quality of the water. The weather that day was awesome: bright, sunny and warm.

However the water was freezing cold. Taking a bath in the freezing sea was another awesome experience. P and T's flight was at 6:25 PM so we somehow dragged ourselves out of the water just in time for them to catch the flight back.

After dropping them off at the airport, I felt really sad that the whirlwind vacation came to an end so soon. I wished it could go on a bit more. It left me with a sweet but sad feeling quite like the feeling after watching Casablanca.
No matter what the future brings, As time goes by...
...I must remember this

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Current affairs

It is hard to concentrate on work when you are just dying to leave everything. It's even harder when you are outside your home country since there's no support base around you. Work has been crazy lately: attending late night phone calls, managing ~5 projects, negotiating with multiple groups for more funds, applying for educational loans (well that's personal, but work nonetheless) and so on. During recessionary times, the work tends to get crazier since people want to cling on to their existing jobs by doing their best and making themselves indispensable. The manager (whose chair is equally shaky) in turn exerts that much more pressure, explicitly or otherwise.

I bumped into a colleague (well, a client technically) yesterday. I was shocked to see that he had bloodshot eyes. On inquiring I found that he has been working day and night for 48 hours now. This is very rare in US especially in my office which values personal time like very few other companies do. Flexible Fridays, work from home, complementary day-offs, firm sponsored community work what not. But in hard times, perks go for a stroll in the park. Personally, the current scenario doesn't affect me since I'm gonna leave it all soon. But seeing the tension around does affect one's state of mind. People say that 2009 is only going to get worse. Seeing the placement figures of top universities around the world, I must admit, I have been having some teeny weeny doubts about leaving a cushy job in this market. Who knows whether I'll get a decent job after passing out? Who knows whether I'll get a job at all?

"Dude, stop it! You are making me depressed", exclaimed "A" fellow ISB R1 admit, on getting bombarded by my not-so-rosy projections. That drilled some brains into my head! Now, I'm an eternal optimist. I've learnt over the years that if you believe you can, you can.

My personal philosophy is: if it ain't broken, why not improve it. And that's the reason I'm doing an MBA. I know nothing is broken in my life, there's really no overwhelming reason to change anything. I can stay in US, earn some $s and generally continue to have a good time. But what about the career goals and why MBA question I had answered in my ISB interview? Were they just meaningless words I read from a script? My goals, my career, and the general tendency to push myself beyond my comfort zone that pulled me through the MBA app journey weren't just meaningless blabber. I believed in them. And I still do.

I realized that I can't possibly make someone depressed - something must've been broken in my thinking. To fix that, I thought some more! Finally, an incident I read about long ago and line from my favourite song came to my mind.


The incident:

Richard Feynman, a Nobel Prize winning physicist and one of the protagonists in the Manhattan Project, once faced a great lull in his career. Now, Feynman was an extremely popular figure and his sense of humour is legendary. However, he was rather unproductive as a physicist in the period from 1961 to 1967. Had Feynman just run out of ideas, or had something just gone wrong?

Quoting from the book:

Feynman had got to know [biologist James] Watson during the sabbatical year that Dick had spent as a 'graduate student' in biology. He had an opportunity to renew the acquaintance when he visited Chicago early in 1967, and when they met Watson gave Feynman a copy of the typescript of what was to become his famous book The Double Helix, about his discovery, together with Francis Crick, of the structure of DNA. Feynman read the book straight through, the same day. He had been accompanied on that trip by David Goodstein, then a young physicist just completing his PhD at Caltech, and late that night Feynman collared Goodstein and told him that he had to read Watson's book -- immediately. Goodstein did as he was told, reading through the night while Feynman paced up and down, or sat doodling on a pad of paper. Some time towards dawn, Goodstein looked up and commented to Feynman that the surprising thing was that Watson had been involved in making such a fundamental advance in science, and yet he had been completely out of touch with what everybody else in his field was doing.

Feynman held up the pad he had been doodling on. In the middle, surrounded by all kinds of scribble, was one word, in capitals: DISREGARD. That, he told Goodstein, was the whole point. That was what he had forgotten, and why he had been making so little progress. The way for researchers like himself and Watson to make a breakthrough was to be ignorant of what everybody else was doing and plough their own furrow. [pp. 185-186]


I read this a long time back. But suddenly the message came back to me. DISREGARD. There's too much importance given to others and external circumstances.


The song:

Tagore, a Nobel winning (the first Asian) Bengali poet once wrote: If they answer not to thy call walk alone.

The above 2 messages definitely hold a lot of meaning when held in synthesis.
Well, definitely there's a chance I might not land a job post-MBA. But at least I have a shot at my dream job. There's no way I can make that transition in my career without an MBA. And just because some others are afraid, some others have faced problems and extraneous circumstances are bad, doesn't mean that I have to be bogged down by it all. May be I'll be in a similar problem, but I gotta have faith. And I ardently believe that we shall overcome the crisis someday soon (sooner than Feb 13, 2010). Amen.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Playing a broken record in a fog

I remember that my granddad had a record player. Growing up, I had a fetish for a particular vinyl record - My fair Lady - a very famous broadway play and later a film - the beautiful heart warming story of Miss Eliza Dolittle's journey from rags to riches. One fine day, in my urgency to listen to the song, "Wouldn't it be loverly", I somehow dropped the record on the floor and it broke. When I payed it thereafter, it sounded like this: "Wouldn't it be loverly" - be loverly be loverly.....etc. My grand dad came out of the other room and with burning eyes and a booming voice said "You're stupid. You're always making mistakes". That scarred my emotions. I lost confidence. I wasnt allowed to listen to the vinyl player for a long time. I felt in a daze as if a thick fog had descended and left me unsure of which way to turn. I felt frustrated and angry, but there'd be nothing I could do to the fog to relieve the frustration. Punching the fog, throwing missiles at it or cursing it would leave it unaffected.

Broken record and fogs are not what I wish to talk about. At least not yet anyway. But as we'll see, they form very good metaphors for techniques that can be used to overcome mental states such as such as the one I had after the admonishment. Till recently I could never handle criticism properly. I never used to be able to say "No" decidedly. That was till I read a book called- "when I say no, I feel guilty". Clinical-experimental psychologist and a therapist in private practice, Dr. Manuel J. Smith is the author of the book. The book's an international best seller, having sold over 2 million copies worldwide. Today, I would like to talk about few ideas expressed in that book and how they helped me become a better person overall and how they can help us become more assertive.

Before we go into the details of the book, let's consider the various types of communication as listed by many psychologists

1. Aggressive Communication

Aggression is a defensive reaction where we tend to shout, demean the other person or somehow try to lower anohter person's self belief. The benefit is a temporary sense of power or control, but the downside is that aggressive behaviour fractures relationships and embitters us.

2. Passive Communication

The flip side of aggression is passive communication. Like aggressive communication it stems from similar feelings of insecurity and low self esteem, but when we behave passively we put ourselves down, rather than the other. We avoid expressing our feelings and needs, we ignore our own rights and allow others to infringe on our rights, perhaps by choosing for us. We don't usually get what we want and we can end up feeling even worse about ourselves.


Say we go to a shop - a pestering salesman is so persistent - you give up and passively end up buying that item and in turn feeling frustrated.

Or when we are already swamped with work but a colleague asks us to contribute to another project - we passively end up saying Yes - and end up performing miserably in both our primary task as well as his, not to talk about our personal frustration.

3. Passive aggressive or Manipulative Communication

Many times we try to emotionally blackmail the other person into doing something they dont really like: say you want your friend to help you out on your project despite his preoccupation: "Can't you do this for me? What kind of a friend are you?" The other person ends up hating us hating us in the long run.
4. And then, there's Assertive Communication
If we are assertive, we can defend our personal rights -especially to be happy and learn to cope with manipulative behaviour of such people.

Let me mention some of the techniques the book outlines:


1. Fogging

Fogging involves using words that acknowledge the other person's point of view, and accepting that it might be true under circumstances, but without necessarily accepting it is true of you. Fogging is particularly powerful if you are able to restate the other person's opinion in a way that could be true of anyone or everyone:

You're stupid
-That could be true. We all have a stupid side to ourselves.

You're always making mistakes
-To err is human.

Just as you can't fight a fog so your critic can't fight fogging because it robs your critic's words of their destructive power. By refusing to become upset or angry in the face of criticism, you're denying your critic the satisfaction of seeing you being intimidated and disempowered. Phrases typically used when fogging include: 'That could be true', 'You're probably right'. 'Sometimes I think so myself', 'I agree', 'That's true', 'You're right' and 'You have a point there.' A phrase that is never used when fogging, but is constantly implied, is: 'So what?'


Of course if the police charge you with murder, you can't say "You have a point there, we all commit murder sometimes". That wouldn't work!


2. Negative Assertion

For all the positives of assertion, there is a technique called Negetive assertion. How can you avoid guilt in cases you know you are wrong?

Negative assertion involves accepting the truthful part of a criticism made against you, and stating it in positive terms. Eg:


You're stupid !
-Well, Im not the most intelligent person who has ever walked on the planet. (I am unintelligent compared to say Albert Einstein).

You're always making mistakes
-I have to admit, I'm not perfect


3. Negative Enquiry

This technique requires a lot of self-confidence. When someone is attacking or criticizing you, you ask them for constructive criticism ie: what they think you are doing wrong, and what you could do differently to be better.

You're stupid
-Oh, what specifically am I not understanding?

Your application doesn't work
-Well which specific functionality doesn't work?


4. Broken Record

This technique is usually only appropriate in situations where you do not have a long term relationship with the other person, and your rights are being contravened (eg: when a shop assistant refuses to accept the return of a faulty item). It can sometimes be used, however, where you are short of time.

In this technique, you simple keep asserting your rights. It is sometimes important that you understand your rights, and are able to quote reliable sources.
Eg:Recently I bought a mouse (electronic, not biological!) but after using it for a day, I noticed that it had a scratch! Here's how the conversation with the shop floor assistant went when I went for a refund:

This item is faulty. As per the policy printed in the receipt, I am entitled to a refund and I want my money back.

-I've got to go to a meeting. I don't have time to talk about this now.

I understand that you are in a hurry. But I want it refunded.

-OK let me look at it. Hey this is a minor scratch you can use this I'm sure.

I realize that it's a minor scratch but I don't like it and I want my money refunded.

-Well OK, let me see...

The technique works wonders since you reinforce your demand through persistence.
However, be careful who you use this with.
If you are going through an empty alley and a gang of men surround you and one of them points a gun to your head asking for cash, you can't just say: "I understand you want to kill me but I wont give you my cash".
-"Give it to me - last chance - else I'll kill you"
"I understand your requirements but I'm not in a position to give you my cash"
Bam - you're dead.

So do perform due diligence on your assertiveness skills.

These techniques give us the power to boost our self esteem. In the process we strengthen our relationships with those around us by being upfront and less manipulative.
"Wouln't it be loverly..." if I could've learnt about the wonderful facets of Assertiveness earlier? Well it's not too late. The "fog" is lifting. I see sunlight.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Connected-Thinking

"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke" - so said Lynda Barry. Love, the all consuming feeling that goes awry several times. But that doesn't stop us from searching for love, searching for friends and searching for that connection - to the world around us. But how do we connect to each other in today's hectic lives? People say that our lives are like an island. But if you look closely even in that analogy, you will find, that an island has trees and the roots of the trees grow deep beneath the surface, till the time they touch - they connect. So even in an island, life is connected.

The very computers and laptops that seem to isolate us form the rest of the world also help us stay in touch via the Social Networking sites.
Take Facebook for example. A social community website, it allows us to create a personal profile and list information about ourselves: our likes and dislikes, our interests, hobbies, pictures and even the name of our dog. God, that's a lot of information.

Social networks harness and channel this information. People can search for us or ask for our hand (in friendship or otherwise) based on shared interests - say a song we like or our favourite holiday destination or our pet.
I have lost count of how many long lost friends these sites helped me connect to. Recently an old school friend "scrapped" in Orkut: "Hey, good to get back in touch with you after all these years; I hope you have forgiven me for that episode in school!" Talk about forgiving, I had even forgotten about the whole incident! I still can't recall. I replied - "I believe in forgive and forget". But the point is, these sites are a fabulous way to you create a closer, more intimate network of friends and to make new friends


Linked In
serves primarily as a professional networking site. It is an online network of more than 30 million experienced professionals from around the world, representing 150 industries - according to their site.
When we join, we can create a profile that summarizes your professional accomplishments. Our profile helps us to find and be found by former colleagues, clients and business contacts.
Our network consists of our connections, our connections’ connections, and the people they know, thus forming a huge professional network. In today's world, much more work gets done anyway through the informal horizontal networks than the formal rigid and hierarchical organizational networks.

Businesses realize the power of information dissemination through such informal networks and harness these networks to find potential clients, service providers, subject experts, and partners who come recommended. They recruit people having specific skill sets through these professional networks as well. Here and here are a couple of links to great McKinsey Quarterly articles on social networks. So Linked-In and other such sites give us a great chance to further our professional interests.

While life doesn't always give us a second chance, the internet does give us a Second Life® - a 3-D virtual world created by its residents. Quoting from the site itself:
"
From the moment you enter the World you'll discover a vast digital continent, teeming with people, entertainment, experiences and opportunity. Once you've explored a bit, perhaps you'll find a perfect parcel of land to build your house or business.
• You'll also be surrounded by the Creations of your fellow Residents. Because Residents retain intellectual property rights in their digital creations, they can buy, sell and trade with other Residents.
• The Marketplace currently supports millions of US dollars in monthly transactions. This commerce is handled with the inworld unit of trade, the Linden™ dollar, which can be converted to US dollars at several thriving online Linden dollar exchanges.
"

Many big businesses have a presence in Second life. They use it to host virtual job fairs, to sell actual goods through virtual shops (people can come in and browse the virtual items - they may choose to buy real items matching the virtual ones as well. Ex. Nike, Reebok, etc) and also for branding purposes. In my company, we are trying to use it as a substitute for teleconferences - being "face-to-face" with our colleagues from around the world (that too dressed in funky clothes) is a great feeling.

Another popular site, Twitter allows users to post answers to the question: "What are you doing at this moment?". The "followers" can keep themselves updated about these updates through various channels such as RSS feeds, SMS, emails and so on. Here's Obama's twitter link.

Skype, Myspace, bebo Hi5 are also similar sites that offer different value propositions.

While these sites promise to put us on the path to social bliss, they also bring with them the inherent risk of social embarrassment. Cyber-crime is increasingly on the rise and there is a very high risk of identity theft. Anybody can get access to our pictures and open a fake profile and post dubious messages. There is also the risk of someone getting access to our personal or professional confidential information. Moreover, these sites are so addictive, you can get glued to them and forget the real world. However, judicious use of these sites can certainly open a lot of doors for us. So the next time we have to face the music in real life we can choose instead, to open Facebook in 2nd life and be Linked-In to the world at large